Saturday, June 30, 2007
Nadia and I just spent our entire morning and afternoon trying to select another donor since three out of the four original donors we selected have retired!
We settled on a German, French dude, which may seem a bit odd since I am African American and she is Latina, but judging from the message board, this is someone who seems to be very fertile. At this stage in the game--round 4--I really need someone who is an open donor who can get me pregnant sooner rather than later.
So here we go again, but this time around I will have the pleasure of being pumped up on fertility drugs.
Tuesday, June 26, 2007
Monday, June 18, 2007
I can now choose to start all over again and try to identify two more donors, so I have more in rotation, or I may have to just hope and pray that donor 37## is always available when I need him.
This is both depressing and anxiety producing. Selecting a donor is a very time-consuming process. And at the end of the day, you never know if you've made the right choice.
I want to puke.
Sunday, June 17, 2007
It took me forever to decide what to name this thing. I had all kinds of names, none of which were right. I wanted a name that would truely represent all that I am-- a partnered black queer trying to have a baby, but somehow they all seemed reductive. I wanted to be deep and simplistic at the same time. I wanted to pay homage to my ancestors and celebrate my heritage all within the simple confines of my blog name.
Some of the names I came up with include:
isishibiscus.blogspot.com (don't ask!)
Then after many months of consternation, Nadia came to me and said, how about 'Egg Drop'? I immediately liked it because it made me think of all of the time I have spent waiting for my egg to meet up with one of the millions of frozen sperm that I have had injected into my body twice a month. My life's time clock has been shifted to accommodate that tiny egg, and everything else has been framed by my new sense of being and time.
Like the eggs in an hour glass, these are the days of my life...
Saturday, June 16, 2007
Friday, June 15, 2007
I was a bit floored because my Dr knows I am a lesbian. In fact, he asks about Nadia all of the time. But this was not my dr. This was the Attending Dr, the one I had to deal with whether I wanted to or not because my Dr had the day off. This was 'Dr no beside manner'. At any rate, I was silent because there I was completely naked from the waste down.
He saw my face and said, "I did not mean to freak you by mentioning your fibroid. It is one of those hard-to-call fibroids and I would just wait to see if you have a miscarriage or two and then think about removing it."
Anyway, I sat on the table for several minutes after he left trying to compose myself. Once I finally got dressed he came in and said he had made a mistake. He told that he "just realized I was a donor assisted IUI and suggested I come back tomorrow because donor IUI's require more monitoring."
Monday, June 11, 2007
Pushing grandma aside, I had to run to the pharmacy to get the pills that will make me bitchy and cranky for the next few days because they stimulate the brain to produce more estrogen.
If this doesn't work, we will do fertility shots and then in vitro fertilization. Will my bank account support in vitro??????????????????
Oh, and his parting words were, "and if you invest more money in this process you may want to revisit whether or not you want to have surgery to remove your fibroids. I know I told you did not have to worry about it, but as these treatments become more complicated, you may want to think about it."