Sunday, March 30, 2008

Do Not Pass Go or Collect $200..Go Straight to Jail...

Okay, so since my last post, I've experienced a tinsy-whinsy set back, or two.

You may remember that I was on birth control pills because I had had a cyst on my ovaries. Other than the occasional homicidal tendency, once I started the menopur injections, I was plugging along just fine on the way to my 7th IUI. Then, as the days progressed, Dr. Feelgood didn't seem too optimistic for IUI cycle #7 (aka unlucky 7) because I wasn't really responding well to the medication.

While on menopur, I only developed one viable egg. At the same time, he did not want to increase the dosage because he noticed some additional fluid that he said was being exacerbated by the medication. He said that the fluid pocket could be due to scarring from my surgery.

Needless to say, I am not a very happy camper.

Nadia and I talked about it—ad nauseum-- and we decided to skip that cycle. I mean, why invest so much moula, energy, and time when there was only one egg in play? Dr. Feelgood totally agreed with our decision.

So now I am desperately waiting for Auntie Flo. But in my heart of hearts. I am trying to decide if I should do another round of IUIs—rounding out the number to numero 8-- or if I should just wait until I get on Nadia's insurance this summer. Should I skip go, the $200 and go straight to jail, I mean IVF?

IVF is scarey because for me it really represents the final frontier, a frontier that I really didn't even want to consider a few months ago. But I am trying to get used to the idea and I am trying to convince myself that it represents a ray a hope.

Nadia keeps reminding me, 'You are not out of the game yet, my dear, not yet."

Thursday, March 13, 2008


I am feeling a little on edge, shall we say?. I think it is the birth control pills. I feel a bit stretched and I have trouble sleeping through the night. I can't say that I've actually told anyone off yet, but I want to.

Next week I have an ultrasound to learn my fate.

Needless to say, I am counting the days, again.

Saturday, March 8, 2008

An Ethics Q

Is it unethical to embark on a job search while trying to get pregnant?

I met with a job coach /advisor for a free consultation last week and told her my sordid tale about my job and my TTC quest.

She was a sweet older 'het' woman who has been in the job coaching business for over 20 years. She advised me that it would not be cool to start a new job and announce that I was pregnant. She suggested that I put the TTC on hold, wait until I get a new job, work hard for the first 90 days, get settled, and then start the TTC again. She said that straight people have the benefit of the 'oops' factor but that a new employer would be pissed if I, as a queer woman, started the job with a bun in the oven.

What do you think?

I disagree but am open to hearing what you think. I am inclined to get back on the TTC hampster wheel as soon as I can because let's face it, no one knows when the stork will arrive. I don't think it makes sense for me to put my life on hold. Do you?

She also suggested that I stay at my job until I get prego. But, my job is very stressful and I am starting to think that it might be impacting my TTC.

What would you do?

Wednesday, March 5, 2008

Turning Lemons into Lemonade

I’m baaack! after a little hiatus. The time off was good. I needed a break. I felt that I was really at the precipice of something and I needed to pull back. I skipped one cycle after the Tougher than Tina Cycle went bust. I took some time to regroup.

Here is a short list of things I did during my hiatus in no particular order.

10. Taught myself aromatherapy
9. Watched The Wire on HBO
8. Started to look for another job
7. Taught myself how to sew
6. Asked myself ‘why’
5. Bought more sweats
4. Received a stuffed bulldog as present
3. Tried not to think about the TTC
2. Obsessed about the TTC
1. Figured out how to Nadia’s health insurance to pay for IVF

Not bad, eh?

Well, I knew that AF would come on either last Thursday, Friday, Saturday or Sunday. My body runs like clockwork, what can I tell you? I called the doctor’s office to find out when Dr. Feelgood would be there because I did not want to deal with Dr. Killjoy.

The nurse told me that he would be in on Monday and I told her that was trying to avoid Dr. Killjoy, if possible. She said many, many patients feel the same way I do.

She gave me a tip—“Drink lemon juice”, she said.

‘Huh?’ I replied.

She said that drinking lemon juice can delay your period by one day. I told her I was on my way out to buy a bottle of lemonade. Actually, I drank lemon tea for the entire weekend, so AF did not come until Sunday night.

Anyhoo, I woke up early on Monday and arrived at the doctors at 7:20am and the room was packed. I have never seen it so packed.

I had to wait an hour an a half to see Dr. Feelgood. When I was finally back in the stirrups, he discovered that I had a cyst left over from the last injectible cycle—two cycles ago. He told me that I should go on the pill and return in two weeks. The egg drop drama continues!

So now I am on the pill and waiting to start my last injectible cycle before I go to IVF. If this doesn’t work I will have to wait until I can get on Nadia’s insurance sometime this summer.

It’s good to be back. Thanks for hanging in with me.