Tuesday, December 11, 2007

Bring it On!

So, after getting the good news yesterday, Nadia and I spent a few hours last night selecting a new donor. All of the donors we previously selected have retired.

So let's recap, shall we?

First there was the South American dreamboat we immediately fell in love with after listening to his audio interview for the first time. His pitch perfect voice was the perfect gift wrap to his comments on social justice and family. Then there was the African/Native American/German who was absolutely perfect except for his smoking which caused his sperm count to be respectable with 'room for improvement', according to Dr. Feelgood. Most recently, we used a French/English/Dutch donor who --according to the message boards anyway-- was extremely fertile. But four unsuccessful rounds of IUIs later-- unfortunately, or maybe fortunately-- all of these lovely specimens are retired from the game.

I am not exactly sure why we feel we have to start from scratch evertime a donor retires but we do. So last night Nadia and I put all of our cards on the table--again--and (re)hashed out what we are looking for in a donor. Even though we know that there is no perfect donor, I guess we always worry that we've overlooked the One who will answer our prayers, get us pregnant, and make all of our dreams come true.

So starting from scratch meant thinking about what it is we really want in a donor. Do we want open donor? An ethnic donor? and if so, what ethnicity would we choose? African American? Latino? Mixed race?

We also talked about how important it is that our donors boys cans swim? Every cycle represents over a thousand dollars in sperm and shipping costs not to mention the emotional toll it takes.

Nadia was really concerned about whether or not Baby Godot would somehow resent us for not choosing an open donor. She works with adolescents and thinks that these type of decisions can come back to bite parents on the a**

I, on the other hand, was most concerned with choosing an 'effective' donor. Is there a definitive way of knowing how many offspring he has? Three donors into this, I also feel strongly about having someone who is Latino and, possibly, someone who looks like Nadia.

Well to make a long story short, we decided on a closed Latino donor who has a pregnancy track record.

We both feel good about the decision and even though I can honestly say that this journey has tested our relationship, it has also brought us closer together.

Even though I had some reservations about starting back on the fertility hamster wheel so close to my surgery, I can't wait 'til this cycle begins.

Bring on Auntie Flo!


Lo said...

Oh, the donor shuffle. We had such trouble, not because we disagreed, but just because we really didn't know what to consider important!! But I definitely agree with you that it *working* is the most important.

calliope said...

fantastic news!

LOVE to hear that things are moving forward with you guys.


Anonymous said...

Don't think of it as a hamster wheel. Think of it as one of those funky hamster tunnels. You know, the yellow ones? And at the end, there's a big cushy bed of cedar chips where you can lay down and gestate your little baby while Nadia does all the housework! Tada!

oneofhismoms said...

That last comment was from me, BTW, I don't know why my name's not there -- oneofhismoms

Anonymous said...

This is all beginning to sound very exciting again, complicated, but exciting. I had to quickly educate myself on the categories of donors - open, closed, effective. Wow.

But the payoff is going to be beautiful.