Thursday, November 8, 2007

The Importance of Breathing

So I went to my acupuncturist yesterday. It was quite an adventure since I have been cooped up in my house since my surgery. I was happy to be out in the fresh air, even though it was a bit cold.

At any rate, I was telling my acupuncturist that I don't have a definitive answer from my RE yet, but I think I will be able to re-start the TTC in January 2008. And his response was, "what is the rush?"

Now that seems like a simple question, right?


I wanted to bite his head off.

What is the rush? What is the rush? What is the rush?

For those of you who have been reading my blog and know my story, I don't want to recount everything that I have been through so far. And believe me, I know my story could be a lot worse, and I don't want to seem insensitve, but here is a brief recap:

  • 8 vial of sperms
  • four IUI cycles (each consisting of two consecutive days of inseminations for good measure)
  • one Clomid cycle
  • one injectible cycle
  • one surgery
  • mandatory time off from work
  • excruciating boughts of pain during recovery
  • countless sonograms and doctors visits
  • And let's not even get into the cost of all of this

January 2008 will represent my one year TTC Anniversary. Believe it or not, I am ready to get pregnant.

I think his point was that I may want to may sure that my body is healed but I have done a lot of research (I have a Ph.D. in Google) and spoken to several people who've had the surgery as well as medical professionals and they all told me that three months off is enough time. Now, obviously, I am not going to do anything to jeopardize my healing, or my chances of getting pregnant, but if my RE says I can start in January. That is exactly what I am going to do.

Sometimes I feel frustrated by the fact that ‘well-meaning’ advice from different sources can be contradictory. It's hard to know what to do, especially when you want something so badly.

At any rate, I am going to try to remember to breathe. And take advantage of the time I have left before I jump back on the hamster wheel.

Thanks for listening.


Lo said...

People don't seem to understand that lesbian TTC is NOT like straight people having sex, and we are ready to be done with it practically before we start.

oneofhismoms said...

Ugh. Those new (or should I say old?)age healers are way too relaxed. You are not in a rush. You are in motion and have no reason to slow that motion down. They are two different things.