I had a really great time in the Poconos this weekend with Nadia. We hiked, laughed and loved. It felt good.
I also had a session with a reflexologist this weekend, which was extremely relaxing. She told me about the healing powers of reflexology. According to her, it can cure many ills, including infertility. When she said that, my ears perked up. She told me that rubbing my feet in certain areas could stimulate my ovaries and help my reproductive area, and y'all know I need help, especially in light of my October surgery date.
Even though I really enjoyed my session, I fear that I might fall down the rabbit hole into fertility treatment wonderland. It seems as if every time I turn around someone is promising to help me get pregnant, and I need to be careful. I feel very vulnerable right now.
I feel like an easy mark for several reasons. First, I had 4 rounds of IUIs that did not work. Then I did fertility drugs and I was sure that it would work, but it did not. And now I am scheduled to have surgery to increase my chances of getting pregnant and carry the baby to term. It would be so easy to spend all of my money on fertility treatments because it would make me feel more in control, when all I can really do right now is wait until I can get back on the TTC hampster wheel again. I have to wait three whole cycles after the surgery to start TTC.
Six months is a long time, but maybe it will give me time to loose weight (I have gained 8lbs since I started TTC) and get my life together. Can I do all that in six months? On second thought, it might not be enough time…