Monday, April 9, 2007

The Beginning of the Marathon?

I am extremely tired right now. I am completely exhausted it is crazy. I slept from 9:30pm to 7pm (9.5 hours) and I could sleep for another 12 hours.

I was hurt when Nadia said that she would be relieved if I were not prego because she is so damn stressed about her job. Even though I understand her fear and anxiety, it did hurt.

She feels like we are not ready to have a child, but when will we be?

I feel like I am prego and that it is going to take a lot of my energy just to sit immobile and have the baby feed off of me. I feel a bit nauseous right now. It is weird because my stomach cannot deal with certain things, for example, when my boss was in here after a smoke, I thought I would toss my cookies. I feel as if I am more susceptible to smells than I ever have been before. I also only want to drink sparkling water. I wonder if it has to do with the kind of vitamins I have been taking? I have been taking fish oil, flaxseed, and prenatal vitamins. I am going to cut back on the fish oil stuff. Maybe that is making me want to vomit.

It was good seeing my dad yesterday for Easter service, but I did not tell him about the insemination. I figure, why buy trouble? I will tell him when I am pregnant. At that point, he might be excited to have a grandchild.

If I am prego I will be happy but I feel like, 'what the hell am I doing'? Talk about running a marathon! I don’t know if I will be able to do it, if I feel this bad all of the time. It is also hard to work while be so distracted and thinking about my body all of the time.

I am really in a daze right now.

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