Tuesday, March 13, 2007


I am very disappointed in my extended family right now.

As background, my family is from the Caribbean, and we are disbursed all over the Diaspora, including, the UK, Canada and, of course, the United States. My mother died 20 years ago and her side of the family is the clan that I grew up with. I used to go to the Caribbean every other year to visit my grandparents and cousins. I stopped all of that when I came out 10 years ago because I knew what they thought of queers.

Some of my relatives know that I am queer and some do not. Some of my relatives know that I live with my partner of 7 years, Nadia, and some do not. All of them are devoutly Christian.

At any rate, one of my relatives took it upon himself to do a google search on me and made a discovery. I am a lesbian. Apparently, after that, he emailed all of my relatives to let them know. And, for the most part, they disparaged me via email. Yesterday, I called my aunt and she told me the entire story. She said that she would not listen to any of them and that she would always love me because we are all sinners. I am angry and disappointed with her and all of my relatives.

I am angry that we still live in a time where people have to risk their lives just to be who they are. And I am angry that I have to parcel out my identities. That it is still such an incredible challenge to be Caribbean and Queer.I am angry that I have to fight my family to have a family with Nadia.

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